Delayed Response

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I became an aware, attentive Christian sometime in high school. Shortly after the whole Watergate affair that helped dismount President Richard “Tricky Dicky” Nixon from office, a book came out by one of his co-conspirators, Chuck Colson, entitled: Born Again. Colson served a bit of time in the pokey for his hijinks, and while there, came across the book Mere Christianity by CS Lewis. He mentioned that it was Lewis’ book that brought him to faith. I remember very little of Colson’s book; however, I’ve put great tracts of the latter to memory. I credit my father with sitting at the dining room table with me and reading through Lewis’ cheerful, brilliant and diminutive work about the historical Christian faith. Not a great many fifteen year olds were blessed to cut their spiritual teeth on the likes of an erudite Oxford Don. I was. It opened the door for hundreds of other good reads.

Speaking of doors, I loath having mine knocked on by eager proselytizers on Saturday mornings. It is annoying. It feels not unlike a vacuum cleaner salesman. I don’t much care for those either. When I try to explain that my soul or my carpet is doing fine, they do not believe me. They continue to press their point. Thus, the clichés surrounding the word evangelism, at least in the cultural milieu from which I emerged, was framed as: “Be aggressive! Be bold! Don’t take “No!” for an answer!” etc. Quite to the contrary, what I found in Lewis was a gentle, congenial, and equitable style. He trusted both the intelligence and the goodwill of his readers to make a reasoned choice when the evidence was presented. I’ve tried to do likewise.

It doesn’t mean I didn’t wish to have the ability to give the other a go. I just never did, or never could. It felt false. I’m no Billy Graham. However, what felt very real then and still does to this day is the love of both heaven and earth. I love the Lord. Not in the way he told us to mind you – you know, with that whole business about the heart, soul, mind and strength. If I said that I did love God in that way it would only be to impress you and I would be telling a lie. I don’t think I’m there at all. A million competing loves and likes and even hates crowd to the front of the queue each day. Yet, bits and pieces of my heart get overtaken and won over more and more – and it runs deep. I know I will make it to the end of my days as a follower of Jesus. And I trust wherever I’ve gotten to by my last breath, he’ll be there to carry and help me finish that last bit of my imperfect and incomplete mission. I will feel bad for what could have been, what I might have accomplished. There is a reason that Scripture tells us he’ll be busy wiping the tears from our eyes as we first make purchase with heaven.

I also mentioned a love for earth. That includes people – people with all of their wild beauties and unique horrors. Right out of the gate, as a young believer, I took a great interest in the souls of those around me. As  a young Christian, I prayed each day for the folks in my high school yearbook. Yet, I saw no fruit…no results. My ineffectual efforts were saddening and maddening.

And then, the years began to pile up. I would return to a class reunion and a person or two would come up and mention something about having come to faith and that I had played some small part in it. A few more years would pass, another class reunion and the same report. I smiled. People joined the journey at that perfect convergence of heart, circumstance and understanding. What I find most remarkable as I head to my 40th reunion tomorrow is that it seems that nearly the whole lot of my former classmates have crossed over to faith. There were just a handful of believers when I turned the tassel in 1977. Today there are very few unbelievers.

I’m not sure why I wrote all of this other than to tell you to remain encouraged. This delayed response to the fervent prayers of a sincere fifteen year old was not a: “No.” It was rather a: “Wait.” We’re to allow God the time to marinate a soul. It was not my place to rush another’s journey. Nor is it yours. Just register your love for another with heaven and things will move along nicely.